My wild child
What do you do when your beautiful teenage daughter turns into the child from hell almost overnight?
First, bury your head in the sand and pretend that it just isn’t happening. Denial is a wonderful thing and works – momentarily!
Further episodes of totally abnormal behaviour soon bring a feeling of absolute helplessness, unbelievable torment and enormous family disharmony. Next, and worst of all, comes embarrassment and unconquerable fear that this might continue and family and friends may find out.
Yes, this was my family – entering a world of living hell. Our daughter was very quickly heading down the road to full and total addiction; we had no idea of the full extent of her drug use, none at all. The nightmare was just beginning.
I soon realised that to preserve my sanity I needed to talk to someone – anonymously. I was soon on first name terms with the parent volunteers at the Parent Drug Information Service (PDIS).
At the age of 15, this wild child of mine rang from ‘a bus stop somewhere on the Nullabor’ asking me to help her get away from a drug dealer she had been running away with – but she had changed her mind! This was one of the many instances that drove me to the phone – to talk with a friendly and understanding voice, someone who knew how I was feeling and could help me work through what to do next.
These conversations helped me to recognise that I needed to look after me first, something until then I had not even considered. I was so focused on saving my daughter. I changed focus – and changed my life! The friendly telephone volunteers, with an empathetic voice and a sympathetic ear were my lifesaver, on those long, lonely nights.
What makes PDIS so special is that every single volunteer has had experience with their own family member’s drug or alcohol use. They all know the despair of dealing with drug abuse in their families.
Sometime towards the end of my nightmare, I responded to a PDIS advertisement asking for volunteers to talk on the phone with parents who were having alcohol or drug issues with their own children. I knew how this phone line saved my sanity – and I felt that it was time to give something back! Little did I know that my new relationship with PDIS would offer so much more.
The volunteer training, the ongoing support of Alcohol and Drug Information Service and PDIS, the support and friendship of other volunteers and the understanding they have brought to my life help me every single day and are responsible for the me that I have become – a mother who recognises that the only person who can control my life is me – and to know that the only person who can control my daughter’s life is my daughter.
Every story has an ending – and luckily my daughter and I have survived the nightmare. Our relationship today, tempered by a need to leave the past behind and move forward, is developing – and comfortable. My wild child is now tame – but she did it all on her own. And when I need help – PDIS is there.